Weaning.  This is a totally new and foreign concept to me.  With Irene, I didn't have to think about weaning at all.  Between my low milk supply and Irene's strong will, the decision to wean was made for me when Irene was just six months old.

In fact, my experience with Irene hung as a shadow over me the entire time Sam was in the NICU and I was pumping.  I was terrified that I would not have enough milk for Sam, or that I would never nurse him.  Nothing could have been further from the truth.  While in the NICU, I produced enough milk for triplets.  In fact, I had so much milk stored, I was able to donate over 2500 ounces (yes - 2500 ounces) to the Mother's Milk Bank in San Jose and to a friend in need.  Now, here I am, almost 19 months later and I am not worried about my milk supply, but struggling with turning my milk supply off!

Here is the situation.  On April 19 I am getting on an airplane to fly to NYC to meet one of my best friends for the weekend.  This is a solo trip.  No husband, no kids, no pump.  My plan was to use these four days away to let my milk dry up.  It is perfect, except for one thing.  I am not sure I am ready to give up my evening and morning nursing time with Sam.  There is also the little issue of Sam not drinking milk (or any fluids) from a bottle or a sippy cup or a straw cup for me or Peter.

But really, what is holding me back is me.  I love my time with Sam at bed time nursing him, singing to him, rocking him.  I love even more getting Sam up at 6 and bringing him into our bed to nurse and snuggle.  Just this morning, after nursing, Sam rolled over, said "done" and feel immediately back asleep with his head on my shoulder.  I just don't want to loose that.

So, what is a mom to do?  I really do want to be free but I don't want to at the same time.  Plus, who can say no to this face?

Of course, this one might help sway me the other way:

And just for fun, a little video of Sam's newest past-time, feng shui.
httpv://youtu.be/PswlziFQoXM