Today was the first day of 2nd grade for Irene.
Aside from being an exciting time for us all... it also means we are entering into the "two years ago today" season. That's right, somehow, Sam's two year birthday is rapidly approaching. Honestly, I have no idea how that happened.
His first year seemed to take forever. Every day I spent holding my breath, waiting for something terrible to happen. Every day, I kept looking for that other shoe to drop. There were irrational fears about Autism. I made myself see warning signs that were not there. Every little thing Sam did, I over analyzed, convinced that there was something terrible lurking.
Then, we made it to Sam's first birthday without much to talk about (aside from dropping Sam on his head).
The build up to that first birthday was really hard on me. I cried more those two weeks than I did the entire time Sam was in the NICU. It was so bad, that on his actual birthday, in the middle of Fenton's, when his little bowl of ice cream was placed in front of him and everyone in the restaurant began to sing, I began to sob. Even now, as I write this I find myself welling up with tears. Despite always keeping a positive attitude, there was a piece of me that thought I would never be celebrating my son's first birthday.
Once we got past that day, I began to relax, and time began to move at a more normal pace. We had a little hiccup in December when Sam got RSV and ended up in the hospital for five days. In a way, those five days did more to relax me than anything else. Knowing that Sam could survive RSV started to finally convince me that Sam could survive anything.
So, I am now no longer looking for that other shoe to drop... I am just going to enjoy watching my son grow and thrive (and possibly relapse and freak out when I feel like it!).
Just in case you need proof that he is thriving, here's a picture of his smile and two videos that will make YOU smile.