Having a newborn is an isolating enough experience. You are tired, lucky to have showered, and home when everyone is at work. At least you are able to go to Target or where ever for an activity. Sadly, for the parent to a preemie in RSV season, even this simple pleasure is denied. You are not supposed to take you baby to any indoor public location. The risk is too high that someone will sneeze on or near your immune system compromised child and endanger them... or something like that. At least I live in California where the temperatures have been in the mid 60's so I am able to take hikes!
But even with the hiking, I am feeling very cut off. I think part of it is missing the companionship of the NICU. I know, I know... missing the NICU... am I crazy! Well, I don't miss the NICU per se... I miss the people. I miss hanging with Laura and Theresa and Blanca and Misty and Gay and JoAnne and Pam and... well you get the idea. Another part is now that the crisis has passed, so to have the texts and the check-ins. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all the love and support I have and am still getting, its just, selfishly I want more. I too could be better. I could call people or text them... but I get so bogged down being trapped in my house and wallowing in the self pity of it all that I don't. What can I say, at least I know I am being difficult!
I love having Sam. I love having him at home. I love taking him for walks. I just miss adult conversation.
Pity party over. Sam update to follow.