I know... technically my birthday was a few days ago... but still...

It's funny how one event can just shift your perception on everything.  If you had asked me last year on my birthday what I thought the coming year would be like, I can guarantee you I would not have described what happened.  Now, looking back, I can't even remember what I did on my birthday!

I am sure I was seeing the light at the end of the second trimester tunnel- enjoying the smoothness of my pregnancy and planning for a fun filled last few months as a 3 person family.  I was blissfully ignorant.  Unaware that in one short month everything would change.

I have found myself thinking a lot lately about the last few weeks of my pregnancy and am overwhelmed with a sense of loss.  So many things I didn't get to experience- and I am not just talking about being pregnant.  I missed out on so much of Irene's first year of kindergarten.  I missed my 7th wedding anniversary (and a lovely trip to Carmel we had planned).  I missed Christmas at Tahoe.  I missed cooking Thanksgiving dinner.  I missed celebrating my husbands birthday.  I missed enjoying my daughters birthday.  I could go on- and on- and on.

As opposed to dwelling more on all of this- I will share with you my birthday wish for this- my 38th year.  Its a pretty simple wish- a trauma free year.  That's all I want.  I have a beautiful family, 2 healthy children, an amazing husband and a network of friends and family whom I could not live without.  I will revel in all of that- and I will wish every day that we will mark another day off the calendar without a trauma.

What about you?  What do you wish for?