A little weepy and other ramblings

August 29, 2011

As we near the one-year (can you believe it!) mark of when this whole preemie ordeal began, I find myself on the verge of tears- pretty much all the time.  I have a feeling the next two weeks leading up to Sam's birthday are just going to be really hard emotional ones for me.

Today was a great example of the weepy mom.  It was Irene's first day of first grade, and after she happily walked into school with her class, i was left on the school ground and it hit me.  One year ago I took her to her first day of kindergarten and our world was so simple and innocent.  I was pregnant and everything was going really well with the pregnancy.  I had all these plans for how I was going to be so present in Irene's classroom, volunteering once a week, etc.  And then, not two weeks later the walls came crashing down.  So here I was, surrounded by all the other parents, tears in my eyes- but not for the reasons people may have thought.

Then, later in the day, when I went to pick Irene up, I was again flooded with memories of last year, picking Irene up from aftercare and planning all these fun things we were going to do together before the baby came- making sure she felt special and loved before her little brother or sister ruined her life.  We didn't get to do any of it.

I can only imagine the mess I will be at Back to School Night this year.  Last year, Back to School Night fell on the first day I came home from the hospital.  Yes, I went... I shouldn't have.  I wept through the entire thing.  I just have a feeling this year will bring more Melissa weeping at Back to School Night.

So, over the next couple of weeks, treat me gentle... I think I am going to have a rough ride.

In other news- we did survive the trip to Mexico.  Sam never got sick (of course).  I on the other hand was sick the entire time.  Don't get me wrong, it did not keep me from swimming and enjoying myself- most of the time.  I did loose two days stuck in the room- in full wallow.  Sam had a blast on the trip.  he discovered beans and guacamole as well as how much fun swimming can be.  By the end of the vacation, Sam was closing his eyes and going underwater.  I was even able to let go once or twice with him underwater and he popped right back up.  Irene spent pretty much every waking hour in the swimming pool- i think she is just now drying out.

Here are some happy pics of the past few weeks:


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