After 7 months of single parenting, I really thought I had a handle on things.

We were a well-oiled machine. We were eating better. There was less fighting in the house. We were on-time to everything. Kids were happy. I was happy.

Then, in one evening, my façade came crashing down in a pile of poop and lice.

It wasn’t until my daughter announced her head itched while Sam was in a corner screaming while trying to poop that I realized I was outnumbered and on my own.

Both kids needed me and they both needed me at the exact same time.

And don’t get me started on the pets. Because it was clear they were in need of attention as well.

What was a single mom to do?

Cry. Prioritize.

I explained to Irene that I had to help with Sam’s pooping issues first, and then I would turn my attention to her. She didn’t complain because it gave her time to read.

So, my confidence in my super powers restored, I set about to getting a suppository in Sam.

Right – I was the only adult in the house and getting a suppository in Sam is a two-person job.

Well shit.

After 20 minutes of screaming and crying (some of it Sam’s) and a near miss with a broken nose (all mine), I finally managed to use my Twister skills and pinned Sam down long enough to get the suppository in. Then it was just a matter of waiting for him to pass the largest brick of poop I had ever seen. (I will spare you the screaming and crying that took place between the suppository and the poop – but needless to say, I am still shocked that one of the neighbors didn’t call child protective services.)

After rocking Sam to sleep, I turned my attention to Irene. The shampooing of her hair with Nix was easy. The almost two hours it took to comb her hair with the little lice comb was another story.  Like me, Irene is blessed with a thick head of hair… and according to the Nix box, each and every stranded needed to be combed carefully.

Again, Irene didn’t really complain as she was allowed to watch TV the entire time I combed little bugs out of her hair.

With Irene’s treatment done, I stripped her bed down, gathered her favorite stuffies and headed to the laundry room to start washing all her linens.

It was at that moment one of the cats followed me in, and while looking directly at me, pooped right on the laundry room carpet.

It was 10 pm and there was not enough beer in the house.

EPILOGUE
After finding a beer or two, I did a lice treatment on my own hair to be safe. Then washed all of my linens. The next day Sam was as happy as could be and Irene seemed to be itchy head free... until today (a week later). This time, we went to a professional place (SO worth the money). Now I say with confidence that neither Irene nor I have lice... and a good inspection of Sam this evening, and I am declaring him lice free as well.

Irene after the de-lousing

What curly blond hair looks like after a lice check