Overall- I would say today was a good day.  I was finally able to let out some of my emotions with a good cry fest at the therapist office.  Nothing like bawling for an hour to make you feel better!

After my cry session I came home to pump- my new pastime.  [TMI Time] Pumping has become an odd little ritual for me.  Normally with a newborn, you don't really think about your supply.  Baby eats, baby stops crying, baby got enough food.  But when you are pumping, you are hyper aware of how much milk you produce.  In my case, the total volume per day is fine.  Its the volume per pump that has me cracking up.  Basically, I have schizophrenic boobs.  One pump I get a total of 225ML, the next 20, the one after that 154, then 14.  Its crazy!  My overall output is fine.  They want between 700-900 MLs a day, and I am hitting that mark- but esh!  Does it have to be done so erratically.

Anyway, around 12 pm I got a call from the neonatalogist on duty who let me know that due to the number of brady's Sam had overnight, they wanted to put him back on the vent for the weekend.  Kind of like we get a break from our jobs, the idea was to give Sam a break from the chore of remembering to breathe.  Since holding him when he is on the vent is hard, she suggest I come down for a cuddle session.  Luckily my mom was on her way over to drive me to the hospital, so I got there pretty quickly.

By the time I arrived, the doctor and Sam's nurse were debating about putting him on the vent.  He was having a good day, and the rate of brady's had slowed down.  We decided to do a cuddle and see how he responded.  Lucky for me, he responded really well.  We got to snuggle for about an hour and 45 min.  It was great- once I forgave him for pooping the second he got comfy on me!  During our snuggle, Sam had one brady, but he self corrected right away.  When I left, the doc was still unsure if they were going to put him back on the vent- and since we have not gotten a phone call, I am assuming he is still doing well.

Mommy's view during cuddle time

Deep in thought... or possibly tooting

And now for your moment of flying baby zen (aka nurse laura puts Sam back after his snuggle time with mommy)