I woke up feeling much better- both in my throat and the rest of my body.  I think the antibiotics may be working- which means a uterine infection is looking like it might be the answer.  So, I guess that is the good and bad news.  At least we know what is wrong, and I might finally start to get better.

Since my sore throat seems to have cleared up, I wanted to get over to Sam as soon as possible.  After a nice breakfast at the Doyle Street cafe, Peter and Irene were going to drop me off at the hospital.  As we got closer, much to our surprise, Irene asked if she could come with us to see Sam.  We made sure she meant it.. she did... so the whole family was off to see the little man.  Thanks to my cousin Rosie's fantastic advice, we talked to Irene about how there was no pressure.  She could change her mind about seeing him, or ask to leave at any time.  We wanted her to know that we would not be mad if she wanted to leave the moment she got there.

So, in we all walked, excited for our visit when what did we see... Christine... the nurse we had banned from Sam.  That's right.  She was back and as awful as ever.  She was rude to us, rude to Irene, and when my father arrived later, she was rude to him.  I will be having a conversation with the social worker and the nurse manager on Monday to find out how the hell this woman was allowed back to taking care of Sam.  (I am still steamed about it now!).

So, Irene was pretty excited to see Sam.  She wanted to tell him that her birthday was tomorrow and to share with him the fancy manicure she had gotten last week.

Look at my nails!

She lasted about 10 minutes, and as soon as she got to see his diaper get changed, she looked at her daddy and said I am ready to go.  Both Peter and I praised her for being such a big girl and wanting to visit her brother, and for being an even bigger girl by telling us when she had had enough.  I think she left this time less scared and, hopefully, more comfortable about visiting.

After they left, I settled to pump and then hold Sam.  This cuddle was just so nice.  Sam got on me, and just settled right in and reached out to hold my hand.  We sat there for about an hour, with Sam's hand wrapped around my thumb- relaxing as much as possible.  Its amazing how much more secure I felt holding him this time.  Since the surgery, he just seems so much more stable.  He apnea events are few and far between and his brady's are even less frequent.  I didn't feel like I had to stare at the monitors the entire time I held him- I felt like I could just relax and enjoy the moment.

Of course, Christine did put a damper on it at the end.  Sam's CPAP machine started gurgling with water.  Each time it made a sound, Sam would get startled and start to destat.  I was unable to get Chrsitine's attention, and when I did, she was just so unhelpful.  The first thing she said when I finally yelled her name was, I'll put him back in a second.  Um... sorry lady, that is not what I wanted.  Perhaps next time, wait for the question!  Anyway, when I told her there were two things, she listened to the first, cut me off and walked away.  It took her over 5 minutes to come back.  By then, Sam was totally agitated and we had to put him back.  My complaints about her this time will not just be her dismal attitude but her lack-luster nursing skills!  OK, enough ranting.

So, I had an hour long great cuddle with a 5 minute bad cuddle.  Once we were done, my dad brought me home so Irene and I could make cupcakes to take to school for her birthday tomorrow.  Overall, a pretty good day.

And now for your moment of zen:

Sam looking up at his mom in his first post-surgical cuddle