Tomorrow is Sam's first ever birthday party... with friends... from his school. I was hesitant to throw him a party, unsure if other kids would come. I was nervous that if I invited his class, they would all find excuses not to attend the party. Sam's therapist pushed me. She told me Sam was ready for a party. She told me Sam has friends.

So, I sucked up my fear and sent out the evite. Then I sat back and waited.

I clicked on the evite daily, just to see if anyone had RSVP'd. After a few days, responses starting coming in.

"No - we have other plans that day"
"No - we are out of town"
"Maybe - we will see if we can swing by"

One after the other the No's came in. Then a Yes. But that was quickly changed to a no. Of the 18 kids from pre-school invited, only 3 said yes. And two will only be able to be there for an hour at most.

I know that Sam will not know the difference. He will just be happy that his buddy Emma is there. But I know. And it makes me sad.

Are people saying no because of Sam's autism or are they saying no because they are all really that busy?

I don't know the answer, the only thing I do know is I hope I get all my tears out tonight so I can act like everything is OK tomorrow for Sam at his birthday party that nobody is coming to.